I’m the typical teenager, nothing special. So I can agree
that the one thing that teenagers crave nowadays more than anything is that
time-consuming-can’t-live-without-you kind of love. I myself can admit that
that’s all I’ve wanted for the past few years, someone to be cute with, someone
to be myself around and who’ll just be there no matter what, you know.
But when I’m faced with the opportunity to have those feelings
of butterflies, this feeling that ive wanted for so long, I find myself turning
it down. It’s not because it’s an unrequited love, not at all it’s the complete
opposite actually. I find myself making all these excuses as to why I shouldn’t
get involved, why now’s not the right time and why I should rather wait because
if it’s meant to be then it will be (as cliché as that may sound) but the truth
is I’m just scared to feel. Weird right? Coz I mean who wouldn’t want to feel
happy knowing that someone loves you as much as you love them. I would love that feeling but I just don’t
think my heart could go through another break up. You watch all these movies
where you see the happy couple have their happy ending, but what happens after
the happy ending? They never show that do they.
I’m scared, what’s
the chance of love lasting at this age? It’s almost inevitable that things are
going to end badly and I’m going to be stuck having to pick up all the pieces.
I know it’s a cynical attitude to have but I’m just being realistic. Even
though I’ve never been in a really serious relationship, all of my past
experiences have ended badly with me heart broken and the guy moving on as if
what we had meant nothing to him.
Frankly it sucks that I have trust issues now because of
guys that were complete tools back in my younger years but I mean it is what it
is, even though I’d love to open up and take a risk on the thing that I’ve
wanted for so long, I know I won’t be able to bring myself to do that. The
feeling of wanting something so bad but not allowing yourself the chance to
have it? Yeah, that’s kinda where I’m at right now.
Awkward Confessions.
Hey there,
ReplyDeleteI'm actually the same as you to be honest... and I've been feeling the same and part of my problem is that it's just incredibly easy for me to fall really hard and just give my heart away which obviously leads to increased amounts of pain.
A few of my friends have been saying that I shouldn't be thinking like that because I'm denying myself what 'could be' and all that jazz... But I honestly feel that unless you're in the right head space for a relationship, it's just not going to work out.
So don't stress about it, just wait you know? you're still young... focus on 'you-time' and developing more and deeper friendships, etc and before you know it a guy who is WORTH IT will come along :) x
Hi there!
ReplyDeleteHaha wow you're the first person to comment on one of my blog posts.
Thanks so much for the encouragement though, I really appreciate you taking the time to write what you did.
I wrote this post a few months ago and I've grown so much since then. I think that if you don't give yourself the chance to experience certain things you'll always wonder and even if you get hurt getting into something like at least you tried you know?
But I so get what you're saying, I know I'm still young and I've still got so much to experience.
I'm just staying positive and hoping for the best in the future.
Thanks again for the comment, wishing you all the best x