"and with you, I feel again"

“Did I really want to stay on this road longer, knowing it was only going to end in devastation?”

― Becca Fitzpatrick, Crescendo

Very often when we get involved with someone and it doesn’t end well, we begin feeling despondent because we feel as though we’ll never find someone who may make us feel those feelings that that person made us feel or that we may never find another that may possess the amazing qualities that that person possessed.

I know that when I got out of a relationship 3 years ago (being as naive and oblivious as one is at the age of 15) I definitely possessed this attitude. I felt as though I was making a mistake by letting go of a great guy, one who possessed qualities that I thought that I would never find in another guy ever again. But as per, life has a way of proving us all wrong and when I look back on it now I can’t help but laugh at my ignorance.

I have this friend who’s been with this guy for quite some time now and their relationship is really just what I would classify as a broken relationship. Her main reason not to leave him is because she feels as though she won’t find another guy that will be willing to pursue her and make her feel the way that this guy makes her feel. I find this interesting and incredibly sad as I know that as a 15 year old, I felt this way but to feel that way at the age of 18 is ridiculous. I mean, I look at her and I genuinely feel bad for her because being with someone solely because you’re scared that you won’t find someone else is really no reason to stay with someone.

It really is a wonderful feeling when you realize that you have the potential to love again after you’ve been hurt.  It’s really cool when you find yourself getting genuinely excited about someone who isn’t your previous object of affection because without even realizing it, it means that you’re open to experiencing things with new people and may even be open to experiencing love again. Even if the person turns out being just a friend, it’s great to know that someone has the ability to evoke feelings of excitement and genuine joy in you, again.

The last guy that I was with (as I’ve said before) was one of a kind in my eyes and I’m sure that he’ll make some lucky girl very happy one day. After him I really was emotionally broken to put things bluntly, but recently I realized that there are so many great guys out there who have the potential to love you in the way that you deserve to be loved and treat you in the way that you deserve to be treated.  I strongly believe that you shouldn’t stick around if you’re being treated like shit or aren’t being shown the appreciation that you deserve solely because you’re scared you may not feel with someone else again.  I also believe that being alone and even being lonely is better than being in a relationship that does nothing but numb you emotionally.

The saying “Some people come into your life for a reason” has become evident to me recently in that I’ve become aware of the actual influence that people can have on your life without you even being aware that they are having this effect.  

I have this one friend - he probably doesn’t even know that he does this - but he makes me feel really good and I really do enjoy speaking to him. It’s great when you come across people like this in your life because you realize that there are some amazing people out there that you’re still destined to meet, who are going to without a doubt completely exceed your expectations.

So basically the point that I’m trying to make is that no matter how good you think that someone is for you, or how phenomenal that person makes you feel, if it’s not meant to be then it’s not meant to be and you really shouldn’t force it.

Being scared that you may not find someone in the future is no reason to stick around in an undernourished relationship, be confident in knowing that someone better will come along, and they will make you feel again.