Skinny love

"We dated and she's an incredibly important person that I lived with for a long time, but it's about that time in a relationship that I was going through: you’re in a relationship because you need help, but that’s not necessarily why you should be in a relationship, and that's skinny. It doesn’t have any weight. Skinny love doesn't have a chance because it's not nourished"

- Bon Iver

As time has progressed and as I reflect on the numerous experiences that I have had and the various experiences that I have heard about others having, it has become evident that our generation is very good at taking what they need from people when it comes to love and commitment and then completely disregarding the person when it suits them.

As I’ve mentioned before I’m really not down with people getting into relationships for the wrong reasons and I’m also really hesitant when it comes to relationships. I have this attitude that when you get involved with someone or you start dating someone, you should be able to imagine getting married to that person. I know this may be a really serious attitude to possess considering that we’re so young, but why would you get involved with someone if you have no intention of envisioning a future with them? I feel like when you get into a relationship it should be because you know yourself and are happy enough with yourself to know that you can exist as a single entity without being dependent on another person.

I’ve noticed that many people my age do not share this opinion that I harbor. Those that know me know that I really hate to be wrong, and I have a hard time admitting when I am wrong. When I look back on all the guys that I have been involved with it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth because I’m forced to admit that I was wrong about them and each and every one of them had made me compromise my attitude toward relationships.

I think that every relationship that I’ve had over the past few years has changed me in some way or the other whether it be for the good or the bad.  Even though I may harbor various negative feelings toward most of the guys that I’ve been with I am appreciative of every single one of them as the experiences that I have had with them have allowed me a broader outlook on the topic of love. Being with them has taught and revealed to me what I want in a relationship, as well as what I don’t want in a relationship.

Over the past few months I’ve been struggling with the fact that people choose to tell you what you want to hear instead of what they really feel.  I struggle with the fact that people feel the need to make you fall for them, when they have no intention of pursuing you. I always look at these girls that fall for guys really fast and I genuinely feel bad for them because the heartbreak that they’re forced to endure after finding out that they’re just “a side chick” or the guy “just wants to be friends” is not something that a girl deserves to feel especially after a short period of time spent getting to know someone. Many people would criticize these girls but when I look at it from a broader perspective is it really that bad that someone actually felt maybe for once a guy came around that was different?

On the topic of skinny love and in reference to the title of this post, I think that it’s fair to make the conclusion that our generation’s outlook on love is governed by skinny love. I say this because I’ve seen how we get into unhealthy relationships which end up in tears and heartbreak as the one party takes while the other party gives. We get into relationships because we’re lonely and not because we’re ready and we feel that it’s okay to exploit each other’s feelings and not be accountable for our actions.

Personally, I think that being in love as a teenager sucks. I mean, very rarely do you find a guy that’s willing to settle down and invest in a relationship. Many people ( including myself) have this idea about love being perfect and being ever so consuming and I honestly believe that this love does exist, it just doesn’t exist at our age because our generations outlook on love is governed by skinny love, “it doesn't have a chance because it's not nourished”