50 shades of not my type.

So you meet a guy and he seems cool, he’s attractive and ambitious, and he has a certain mystery about himself. He doesn’t like to talk about his feelings or his past and he’s not known for commitment. As you get to know him you find that he’s really bossy, he’s slightly oppressive, over protective and demanding.

-I’m guessing that you probably wouldn’t give him the time of day.

This guy that I just described is Christian Grey

So as I read the 50 shades trilogy for the umpteenth time I find myself thinking about standards and certain qualities that we want –or don’t want- in potential partners. In 50 shades of grey (the first book) we see how oppressive and just how twisted Christian is, we see how he demands certain things from his muse that would send most girls running for the hills. But as the trilogy progresses, we see how he changes and portrays a perfect model possessing qualities that your average girl would long for in a guy.

As I sit here, I find myself thinking about how we all have this picture of what we want our perfect guy or girl to be like.  We possess standards that need to be lived up to in order for us to consider giving a potential partner a chance. So when someone that does not possess these qualities that you long for in a guy, comes along, they are automatically disregarded because they are “not your type” or to put things simply, they do not fit the mould of your perfect guy.

When I first started reading 50 shades I remember how I was not at all attracted to how controlling and demanding Christian was toward Anastasia and I remember just how happy I was when she left him at the end of the first book, I literally remember how I was sitting in my bed at 1 o’clock in the morning eager to finish the first book, and as I read the words that described her leaving him I recall myself fist pumping the air.

But as the trilogy progresses, the reader sees how Christian changes into a model of the perfect guy. The man that started out as a guy that portrayed all the qualities that never appealed to me (and I’m sure would not have appealed to most girls) develops into a guy that one can only dream of.

The point that I am trying to make is that sometimes we are approached by people who don’t fit our standards, nor do they possess the qualities that we require in a partner.  Many times I am told that I shouldn’t settle for an “average” guy, a guy that does not live up to my standards because I “deserve so much better”

But the thing is, just because a guy does not live up to your standards in the beginning or doesn’t possess the qualities that you look for in a partner that does not mean that you can’t be good together.  Once again at the risk of sounding cliché, you never know how amazingly-beautiful something could turn out unless you give it a chance.  

If you compare how Christian Grey appears in 50 shades of grey to how he appears in 50 shades freed (the third book) you would swear you were talking about different men.  Even though this is just a book, it makes sense that if you are willing to give people a chance to live up to your expectations, then maybe one day they will.

So what I am trying to say is that maybe- just maybe- going for someone that you never thought that you would go for, or someone who does not fit your standards but is given the opportunity to do so, will allow you that high romance that you’ve been looking for.

So how’s about you give that guy or girl who you haven’t given the time of day but has been hitting you up every day for the past 3 months a chance, it might work out or it might not work out, but there’s no risk in trying

You know what they say “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” J