The forbidden words.

Second post in one day? Best believe J

Alright, so previously my “Too many feelings” post was called “Scared to feel” and damn was I right to feel that way. I’m sure this is a universal feeling amongst girls, you find a guy who allows you to let your walls down and you feel like you’re on top of the world with him and next thing you know,

….bam you’re heart broken.

I am sick sick sick and tired of love, and I sure as hell am sick of guys and their bullshit. They know all the right things to say and you never know if they’re genuine or not. What convinces a guy to make a girl fall for him with no intention of catching her?  Personally, I think that’s selfish and unnecessary.

The thing is it SUCKS when you’re doing fine by yourself, and you have no problem being alone and then someone comes along and makes you feel comfortable with having someone there. You get so used to having them there that you begin thinking that you won’t be able to go on if they leave, how do you go back to being alone when life has showed you what it’s like to experience a high with someone by your side.

It bothers me when I think about love and the fact that you are fine when it’s not there but when it comes and goes you end up being shattered and anything but fine. Why is it that something that you never needed, once it’s gone can make you feel as though you’re never going to be okay without it again?

Last year I remember going through a heartbreak with someone who portrayed everything that I looked for in a guy. He was funny, witty, and charming and when I fell for him I fell hard. I’m talking super hard, harder than I’ve ever fallen for any other guy before but before I even hit the floor he was gone. It angers me that guys feel that it’s okay to charm a girl off her feet when it suits them and then just leave when the going gets tough.

I’m not a person that takes relationships lightly and I wouldn’t get into one with someone if I didn’t see a future with them.  I feel like lots of teenagers get into relationships nowadays because they feel the need to feel needed. That makes sense right?  Everyone wants to feel as though they mean something to someone and I admit there’s nothing better than that feeling, but these relationships that are rushed into end up taking so much out of you, you go in and out of relationships and every time you do you end up giving a piece of yourself away. That’s bound to happen, I mean I haven’t been in a number of relationships but from those that I have been in I can honestly say that each relationship has changed me.  I have an immense amount of trust issues due to guys and how they’ve screwed me over.

The forbidden words “I love you”  are thrown around like they mean nothing. They're just 3 words.  What is love even?

I used to think it was when you loved being with someone so much that you couldn’t imagine being without them, or love is when you feel so comfortable with someone that you feel as though they complete you in every single way.  The truth is everyone has their own perception about love. Many people joke around about age and many times I’ve heard the comment “You’re too young, you don’t know what love is”  or “you only just met him how can you love him”

Personally I believe that love does not know time, it doesn’t know distance and it does not know age, it just exists as a feeling that has the ability to give people the highest high of their life or it can take you to the lowest low that you’ve ever experienced.

Love is not when you can’t imagine your life without someone, and it’s not when someone makes you feel comfortable. Love is an indescribable, uncontrollable feeling and when you feel it you’ll know.

So when I say that I’m “sick sick sick and tired of love” I really do mean it, but when it happens, there’s no stopping it, loves not a feeling that can easily be supressed.