Insecurity.

"We're going to have to let the truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us"

-Beth Moore

You know those days when you wake up and you just feel bleak? I've had many days like this, you rise from your bed and look in the mirror and your eyes are automatically drawn to what is wrong with your body, bags under your eyes, spots on your face, hair a mess.

I don't mean this in a self-pitying way but you just feel unattractive. Not ugly, just unattractive.

 You have so many thoughts running through your head, so many problems yet you whip on a smile and are forced to face the world.

You get dressed up and done, doing your best to clean yourself up and savour the little part of you that still has the ability to look good. You go out and face the world and everything seems okay for a little while, you forget about your problems, your emotions, your insecurities that surfaced that morning and then bam, someone makes one comment and you're back to how you were feeling when you woke up, bleak, emotional &insecure.

I've had this happen to me many times. I'm not the most confident person out there but I'm also not the most insecure. I haven't necessarily felt ugly when someone's made a comment about what I'm wearing or the spots that I'd woken up with on my face that morning, but it hurts knowing that people feel the need to point out your flaws, those flaws that have the ability to destroy every ounce of confidence that you have left.

It especially hurts when you actually feel like you look good and someone comes and breaks you down. Reminding you of those spots that you tried so hard to cover up with make-up, the bags under your eyes that you tried to hide with concealer, the shirt that you wore because it’s the only piece of clothing that you actually felt might make someone take a second glance at you.

 
Many people that I've spoken to seem to have reached the conclusion that these people that insist on bringing others down are suffering with insecurities themselves and it is for this reason that they get a kick out of insulting others, but it’s usually those that seem the most confident that resort to making comments like this. When you're in a situation like this how do you even react?

You result to laughter or smiling and co-operating in the so called jokes people are making, but deep down you're over analysing like crazy hoping the next person you encounter doesn't stare long enough or look hard enough to notice what is being pointed out as not beautiful or wrong.

It always saddens me when I see girls who are really insecure. I'm talking like over the top insecure. It makes me wonder how they got to be that way, was it because they were told the same thing so many times that they started believing it? Or maybe it's because society is so messed up and has such high expectations of what the perfect girl should be like that they just looked in the mirror one day and loathed what they saw?

What actually gives people the right to insult us because they feel as though we do not live up to their standards? We never realize how painful words can actually be, words cut deep because unlike physical pain, emotional pain cannot simply be healed and forgotten.

 We all have so much to say about society.

Society makes girls feel insecure.

Society tells you it’s okay to stick your hand down your throat in an attempt to fit into that new pair of jeans.

 Society tells you that if you cut your wrists in an outcry of immense depression, you're looking for attention

 Society tells you if you don't follow the norm you're not good enough

 Society...

 .....does not allow you to be yourself.

 
It’s always us blaming society but we neglect to realize that we are to blame. Why?

Because we are society.